Aurelie Labeys

TIU : Hi Aurelie many thanks for taking part, please give us a little background on how you come to be in Ulverston and what you do…

A: My name is Aurelie and I was born in East France. I discovered Kadampa Buddhism nine years ago. I practised dharma and step by step my life changed. Two years after I started to practise I had the opportunity to work for the Kadampa centre in France so I accepted and moved there. The tradition started here where we are now but there are centres in every country. So I worked in the France centre for five years I started out doing household. I was working as a nurse in a hospital before that so I move city, move my job and start to work there. It was one year as household and four years as an EPC – Education Programme Coordinator. When that ended I was thinking of coming to Ulverston for six months because there is a special programme here of intensive teacher training so I applied and was accepted. I arrived here in February 2023 and from then until August I did intensive study. Every day I took a class and then at the end of studying a job became available. Normally it is as a teacher but could even be as a manager for the centre. So of course I wanted that! So I was completely okay with it I studied the six months and the new Kadampa tradition. The manager of the tradition asked me to stay here to be cafe manager and because I really enjoy studying English and and I really want to spiritually progress, I accepted. It is really important for me that my family are okay with my choices, especially with my spiritual choice, so I ask my family and they said yes, you can it’s okay if it’s just for one year! So I accepted and I stayed here for one year as the cafe manager. It lasted until August and my Visa was finished and I ask – what is the plan for me? And they ask me to stay longer. So I ask my family and they said yes you can stay longer. They understand that even if I am here nothing has changed between us. We continue to speak via Whatsapp and even if I was in France it would be the same. I only went back to my family home about twice a year when I was in France and now its the same for here. They can come here too if they want and until now it is not the case but I think one day they will come!

TIU: What religion are your family?

A: They are catholic but they don’t really practise – maybe my mum a little from time to time. My grandfather and grandmother yes they go to church every Sunday I think, maybe not every Sunday! But my mum, dad and brother not really.

TIU: Do you usually ask their permission before you make choices?

A: When it is not about Buddhism I would say “I have this plan and I go there” but since I started practising Buddhism I ask their permission. It is me. I am not required to but I want them to be happy with my spiritual life I don’t want for them to be uncomfortable or angry and so I ask them if they are really okay that I do this. I didn’t say I want or I would like I said I have this opportunity do you think I can go? My mum doesn’t need to see me so often or call me but with my dad its not the same so I really ask him – are you okay? And every time he told me if you are happy then yes.

TIU: What would you have done if they had said no?

A: If they said no I would go back to France. I explained it to the manager here and they thought it sensible to ask family.

TIU: Can you explain a bit more about the levels of the religion? What is involved at each stage?

A: This is a really beautiful question and it is for this that I love this tradition because I don’t need to change some things. I have a boyfriend and we live here together and he is french also. All of the Kadampa practitioners are at different levels and everyone practises at their level. So I do have a boyfriend and I enjoy living within the community. I really want to work full time for the tradition so I am like this. Those that can’t work full time for the tradition will still live at home, they may have jobs and family. Some people want to become a nun or a monk so we have some vows for that. The vows are to be single with no sexual activity. Those are not my vows although a few years ago I decided to take some but as a lay person. My vows are don’t lie, don’t steal, don’t kill, (even animals), no sexual misconduct and no drugs or alcohol. My life is around these vows.

TIU : They sound easy enough to follow in theory…

A: The first few years is really interesting because we don’t realise how much we do some of those things. In France I am lucky as a woman it is easier to say that I don’t want to drink. But when you are male in France not drinking is seen as not masculine. I never took drugs before so that was easy but lying is a funny one because we lie a little bit here and there without thinking. And with stealing too. We need to check our minds all the time. For example if you find some money on the road what do you do with that? We would have to leave it or give it to the police or find the owner. But the first reflex might be to pick it up and take it. There are some things like that when you first take the vows that you are not expecting.

TIU: What happens if you accidentally take a wrong turn in terms of the vows – is there a confession type process?

A: We don’t have confession like in the catholic church – we understand why we take the vows and we need to make sure that we know of our intentions. What is our intention? Do I have the intention to break my vows or not? Or am I being forgetful? If I am sorry and I forget then it is okay. I will look at making my intention or motivation stronger and we have some meditation practise for that.

TIU: So you would forgive yourself?

A: Yes but it could be that my motivation is changing or if I felt that I didn’t want to follow my vows anymore. I don’t have this experience but I hope that if it did one day appear to me I would go to my teacher. We all have a teacher who is someone we can ask for help. We can share this with our teacher or even other practitioners who are our friends.

TIU: Do you experience any of those lapses, any moments that will make you check your intention?

A: For me it can appear in my dreams and when it does I know I need to be careful because once it appears I start to forget. When I wake from that I do my meditation to reaffirm the vows. Once though to be completely honest something appeared in my mind so strongly and I couldn’t over come it so I did it. Afterwards I asked my teacher to help me because I didn’t want to but I had no choice because it was so strong and he helped me and I tried again. I remember that situation so I try to overcome. Buddhism practise is about controlling your mind so that we start to understand our minds. What is in our mind and how our life works. We understand that when we do something we always have a motivation or intention but sometimes its virtuous and sometimes it’s non virtuous. When it non virtuous it comes from attachment, jealousy, anger things like that. Our training is to identify in our minds what is happening. When we speak with people we clarify what is in our mind is it anger, jealousy attachment? Or the opposite? Love, patience, compassion? wisdom? And we try always to identify this. But anger, jealousy and attachment are so strong and we have so many habits of those as people so even if you practise for ten or twenty years this habit is still really strong. Sometimes its just too strong and we can’t do it another way. We try our best every time and when we do the wrong things we just try to start again. Like when learning any new thing – a baby learning to walk has to fall and start again. Even now my intentions can be low. Today I have a good motivation but tomorrow maybe I am really discouraged.

TIU: I identify with what you are saying – I have a lot of responsibility for people around me and have carried that alone for many years so I am always trying to practise better ways to think and communicate. However the one thing that knocks me sideways every month is hormones. And I wonder how women in the tradition deal with that and further things like menopause?

A: For practitioners a few years older it is not easy to control hormones. Even at my age it is not easy every time. I really love Buddhism I learn about myself more and more but when this does appear to me – say I am tired for example, I have no patience at all. As cafe manager I work with volunteers sometimes and some of them really young. When I am tired I can’t love them.

TIU: They are still learning how things work?

A: Yes they are young and I am tired and want to make sure the job gets done! But I understand that when I am tired I am like that and it’s not to worry just take time to refresh. I try and be more kind with myself. Its really important to understand what is me and what is not me. When I don’t love people I understand that it’s not really me. Its not my identity. So I just need some time. Like the weather. Yesterday we had that big storm and now we have this clear blue sky, spacious, peaceful, the storm does not destroy the blue skies it just storms when we are tired or hormones take over.

TIU: Will you continue on and take more vows in the future?

A: For me this life, this truth, its my life for a long time. I really hope that I have a long life and at the end of it I am still a Kadampa practitioner. I hope to dedicate my life to this tradition. I enjoy it, it is my way. I don’t know what will appear in the future for me I am realistic you never know but it is my wish to continue and to improve my vows. To go deeper. To follow the founder of this tradition and become more like him.

TIU: Will you be able to stay partnered by doing that?

A: We can become like our founder even if we are a lay person. When you are a monk or a nun you take ordination vows but even if you don’t take them you can still live like them. I have a partner but we try to have the same life they do because their vows are so beautiful and for me taking those vows protects my mind and my spiritual life.

TIU: Are you able to have a family?

A: We can yes there are families here.

TIU: Are the children encouraged to follow the path?

A: No they are free. Everyone is completely free here you can follow what you want, it is really open.

TIU: Do you live here in return for your work in the cafe?

A: Yes it is included in my job. I am sponsored here but I have my accommodation and food for free . I have some money at the end of the month. The family who lives here the Dad is a sponsored person like me but the Mum works outside here and the kids attend a local school.

TIU: It’s very interesting thank you for talking to me do you have any places in Ulverston that you would like to share with us?

A: I really enjoy of course the temple here it is my favourite place. But I do love Ulverston it is a very cute town. I really enjoy everything here it is hard to pick. I love the beach and the sea when the tide is in. I enjoy Gillams Tea Room! Sometimes I just go to the centre to relax its a very special town. The Lake District itself is amazing.

Aurelie Labeys runs the World Peace Cafe at the Manjushri Kadampa Centre but also leads the free 15 minutes of meditation inside the temple on Wednesdays at 12.30pm and 2pm.